What. A. Week.

It's been rough.

Gibson called me back the day after my last post. He said he felt so stupid for making that mistake.

He acted incredulous at my idea of him having a lover. Basically, he said:

"Lola, honey, listen! My password is "Charlotte", I got to the hotel really late and I was exhausted but I still wanted to send you a message. So I just logged in using "Charlotte" and typed an email to you - it was just the word I had on the top of my mind at the moment! Haven't you ever called someone by the wrong name on accident? Didn't you ever call your teacher 'mom' when you were a kid?"

By that point I was feeling a little silly. But still, the obvious question - "Why is another woman's name your password?" I asked.

Was there a pause here or was he just waiting for me to finish?

He said, "As in Charlotte, NORTH CAROLINA."

And then I felt REALLY stupid. And embarrassed. Gibson had briefly lived there as a child. I suppose it makes sense. He said he had to go and that we'd talk when he got back. We didn't really. I felt dumb and didn't want to make a big deal out of it.

... I did sort of expect HIM to bring it up though.

Still weird.

What do you think, internet?

Dear CHARLOTTE?!?!

I'm absolutely fuming.

Two days ago Gibson left on yet another business trip. He's in Canada right now.

When he got to the hotel it was late so he sent me an email like he always does.

Except it was titled,

"Hey Charlotte,..."

NOT "HEY LOLA"

Hey CHARLOTTE??? And then he continued to write and ask how Brooks and I are doing, blah blah.

I haven't been able to get a hold of him yet, but obviously I have a lot of questions. Like - WHO THE HELL IS CHARLOTTE?!

I can't believe this is happening. But I also hope he has some sort of good explanation. I can't see how he could, but I can't help but hope.

If I ever found out he cheated on me I would never stay with him. Not in a hundred years.

Regardless of what he says (I'm certain he will deny it.) I'm going to hire a private investigator. I'm so sick of all my doubts.


It's time we got to the bottom of this.

(Charlotte is the one name I'm not editing on here for privacy. Why should I? If she's my husband's lover I want the world to know who she really is.)

Picture

I've decided next week I'm going to add a picture of myself to my blog and (my new!) Twitter account. I keep reading that bloggers should show themselves in order to add a personable feel to their identity for their readers.

I'm sorry but I will still have to disguise myself. I just can't have people recognizing me. Gibson would be furious if he knew about all my suspicions and blogging like this...

I'm so lucky for the laptop he got me for my last birthday. He said I finally needed to get acquainted to the internet like the rest of the world.

So I am! Take that, Gibs!

Neighbors

The house next door is already up for sale, the one the elderly lady who passed away last month owned. I think her family is trying to get it sold quickly as when I walked by I grabbed a flyer from the realtor's sign and was shocked at how low the price was.

Hopefully we'll get some nice new neighbors, with kids? I don't like any of the other ones around us and avoid them.

Gibson is leaving town next week for a couple days and I'll have more to say on that later. Stay tuned.

Right now I have to go run errands.

Easter

We were invited to the Colorado Country Club for Easter by a friend of Gibson's who is very rich and whom I don't like at ALL! I have to put up with him and his stuck up wife tomorrow. Gibson really wants to go - since this is a prestigious colleague of his.

I hate events like this. But I get dragged to them all the time as Gibson's wife. We're even staying over at their ritzy house in Colorado Springs overnight.

I was raised in a very middle class home in Ohio, I'm not accustomed to such frivolities that Gibson's friends display. And just always so worried that I'll "mess up".

Any advice?

Luckily, they have a child Brook's age so that he will be occupied. Wish me luck.

I so wish Easter was an enjoyable holiday for me.

PS - have you read those emails from my last post? I'm still waiting for help on those. I'm at a loss.

An Email

I finally got the courage to email Susan's husband about the phone call I got from her the day she died.

See for yourself, and tell me what you think. I'm at a loss of words right now.

Click to enlarge and read each, sorry I know it's weird to read it like this but I did this the only way I knew how. Also, both our son's names start with B, in case that's confusing. I had to block our our real names for obvious reasons, I need to remain anon.

More Death

I haven't posted in a few days. It's been very crazy around here.

Next door to us is a large 1950's ranch home. A sweet elderly lady has lived there for decades (it might have been her & her husband's first home for all I know.) Her husband died about 5 years ago, shortly after we moved into our large house next year.

She was nice but kept to herself. I should have made more of an effort to befriend her, I think. We both could have used the company, and her kids live out of state and rarely visited.

She committed suicide last week. She was found dead in her garage, apparently she let the car run with the doors closed. Not sure who finally found her, but I hear it had been a couple days.

Poor lady. I really hope I don't end up like that someday. Alone. So alone I'd take my own life. It's very sad.

I told Brooks she died in her sleep. I didn't want him feeling bad and asking questions about suicide. When I told Gibson later he didn't act as upset as I would have liked. Men!

He said That's too bad and then went on with his day. I can't stop thinking about her thought.

I really feel bad that I didn't make more of an effort. And I'm so sick and tired of death.